79. Lose 30 pounds
I wanted to wait until I reached my first weight loss goal to share with everyone my experiences with it, but I've decided to just do it now.
Growing up, I have always been sort of a chubby girl. Even when I was little (like 4 or 5) I remember being very conscious of my weight. I don't think there were a lot of other children that were "overweight". Most kids I was surrounded by were thin. At that age I don't think it bothered me as much, I just knew I was different. I wondered why I had to be the chubby kid. I wondered what made me different. Did I really eat that much more junk food? Candy? Soda? McDonald's? Was I really that much less active than other children? I didn't think so. I played t-ball at the youngest age you could join and played every year up until high school. I played volleyball in middle school. I played basketball a few different years. I rode my bike and played outside. So why was I was I bigger than everyone else?
I don't remember my weight really bothering me until freshman year of high school. Up until then, I always had this view of being the loser girl for some reason. I think that stemmed from my weight. No one wants to be associated with the chubby girl. She was gross because she was bigger. I don't know where that all came from, but that's what I thought. I think part of it came from when we moved when I was in third grade. I suddenly became very conscious of the image I put out and whether or not people accepted me. I became very quiet because I was afraid they wouldn't. Anyway, that's another story for another time.
So anyway, freshman year of high school I played volleyball for my school. We were required to wear spandex shorts. Being heavier, this was a nightmare for me, as I'm sure most girls probably weren't comfortable with it at first. Spandex are just NOT very flattering. Before the school year started there was volleyball camp or whatever you'd like to call it. Now, this was a long time ago, so I don't remember exactly what happened, but I know we went through intensive workouts for a period of time. I think in about 2-3 months I lost about 30 pounds or so. I recall drinking chocolate milk a lot whenever I got hungry instead of snacking. I don't remember what I ate for meals. I think I probably only ate two meals a day or something. Basically, I don't think the way I lost the weight at the time was healthy. I don't think it was an eating disorder per se, but it wasn't healthy. I remember after losing all that weight still thinking I was fat--also not healthy. Looking back at pictures of me from that time, I was actually pretty skinny. The skinniest I'd ever been in my life. Why did I think I was still so fat?! I must have been crazy. Or mentally ill.
I ended up quitting volleyball towards the end of the year because they wouldn't let me play. I thought it was bullshit--all they cared about was winning. I wasn't used to that sort of approach, thought it was bullshit and quit. I don't have any idea how long it took me to put that weight back on, but come college I think it was about 130 pounds. A year later I was probably about 145 (freshman 15, right?), and then come end of my senior year, I reached my highest low, if you will. I managed to make it up to 179. This is when I decided things HAD to change. I didn't like the way I looked in pictures, I didn't like the way my clothes fit, etc. Sometimes I was ok with my curves, but most of the time I wasn't. Mostly because I compared myself to pictures from freshman year of high school. I liked the way I looked then. I thought I looked pretty. Healthy. I still wasn't skinny, but I was ok with it. I embraced those curves. Now I just thought I looked gross. I didn't feel healthy, so I changed.
I don't remember for sure when I weighed 178 or 179 pounds, but it was probably around the second to last week in June. There were some other things going on in my life at that time that also helped me focus on losing weight. I had been seeing someone who suddenly just sort of dropped off the face of the planet, I was living at home stressed out, wasn't happy, etc. I think the living at home thing is really what helped me to focus on losing weight. That and the depression and anxiety that came from the guy that suddenly just started ignoring me. I couldn't stop thinking about it, so to stop, I worked out in the evenings. I filled each evening with different activities to keep myself busy. I worked full time, so evening was all I had to be at home. Being at home stressed me out, so I went out and worked out to get away from home, so I had at least two things motivating me to get out.
I walked with my neighbor. We went for 1.5+ mile walks at least 1-3 times a week. I started playing volleyball with friends Monday nights. I joined a softball team that played Wednesday nights. Tuesday nights I did Turbo Jam or Hip Hop Abs. I went and played tennis. I did other dvd work outs at home. I went running. I did a variety of things. I think this is a large part in why I have lost weight. I didn't mention this earlier, but my sophomore year of college I worked out nearly every day. I did Turbo Jam. Now, I toned up, but I didn't lose any weight. I didn't get any smaller or see a change on the scale, just notice that I toned up. I eventually gave up and lost the definition.
I've also gotten on a regular sleeping schedule. I think this helps a lot as to when I eat. I eat breakfast every morning before work. I have a morning snack, I eat a late lunch, I have an afternoon snack, and dinner. After dinner I generally don't eat anymore. If I do, it's a small snack. This means I'm usually not eating anymore after 8pm the latest. I go to bed around 10:30. I don't know if that whole "don't eat two hours before you go to bed" thing really does anything, but it might since I've been losing weight. I eat smaller meals now. I can't even finish an entire meal anymore. For example, I can't eat a whole Big Mac, fries and drink from McDonald's anymore. I can't eat my entire steak, potato and salad at Outback anymore. I think portions are a big help. My snacks are things like almonds or granola bars (like FiberOne or Kashi). I don't drink pop anymore, at least not often. I drink at least 2 bottles of water a day if I don't work out, and if I do work out I usually have 4+. I don't eat much sugar. I don't eat candy. If I need something chocolately, I have a square or two of dark chocolate (85%). Of course, sometimes I treat myself (or just cave in) and have a pop or shake or something. I still eat McDonald's (probably once or twice a week). So really, the things I eat haven't changed all that much, but the portion has changed, or I've chosen a healthier version of it (or both).
Last but not least, I've started taking acai berry juice every day (or most days). The kind I take has other juices in it so it tastes really good. I've tried the 100% acai berry juice and it's nasty. I'm not sure if this juice has anything to do with the weight I've been losing, but I'm not about to stop taking it to find out. I started taking it for the nutrients and stuff. I've heard it's supposed to promote weight loss, but I was skeptical. Right now I take probably 2 ounces of it in the morning after I eat. I started taking about 1 ounce of the 100% acai juice in the morning for a week and about 2 ounces of the other stuff at night if I remembered, and through that week I didn't see as much weight loss. Granted this could have been because the following week I was going to get my period or something, I don't know. I just went back to the other stuff though for now and I'll experiment with the 100% acai juice again later. Might as well since I've got it, right? Not like I can return it.
Anyway, that's how I've lost the weight that I have. I lose about 1-1.5 pounds a week. I found that for some reason I weigh the least on Monday mornings, so those are my official weigh in days. Today I weighed myself and I'm down to 161.5 pounds. That means I'm 2 pounds away from my first weight loss goal. I'm so close I can taste it! And I KNOW I can do it. This is the first time in my life that I've actually been able to lose weight, and I intend to keep going and keep the weight off. The things that I think have helped me is several motivational factors, a variety of exercise (not just one thing), portion control and healthier choices when eating, and acai berry juice. Having someone to work out with helps too, and I honestly think a regular sleeping schedule helps.
I've started incorporating weight training in to my working out schedule, so we'll see how that changes things. I just know that I've been losing weight in a healthy way, and I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. It's been a slow process. I know that when I start working out I want to see results right away, but this isn't the case. Sure one pound a week might seem like nothing, but over time, that's a lot of weight! I think that's another thing that has helped me. Rather than say, "I want to lose 30 pounds" and get frustrated by what the scale tells me each week, I just focus on my weight week by week. My goal is to lose one pound a week, and now I've already almost lost 20 pounds! So don't just make large goals for yourself, make small ones. This way you can accomplish them, and then you still have your big goal to work towards. So what I did was I started with a big goal. I want to lose 30 pounds. Then I looked at my current weight and made my second big goal to make it to the 150's (about a 15 pound weight loss). Then I made a small weekly goal to reach my first achievable big goal: lose one pound a week. And that's all I've been doing--looking at how much I lose each week. I've started keeping a chart of my weight from week to week as well. Every other week I was doing measurements too, but now I'm going to do that once a month. I'm also going to start taking pictures to track my progress.
So anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! haha Two more pounds to go!!!
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